now!
…it is the greatest gasoline-powered vehicle that has ever been, or will ever be, built. Seriously.
…Take a moment and consider what Bugatti has done: Because a handful of billionaires demanded that the fastest car in the world be available topless, the Volkswagen-owned ultra-luxury automaker essentially broke the laws of physics. Again.
The first Veyron is an engineering marvel. That’s the one with the massively reinforced roof that helped keep the rest of the body from deforming into an amoebic tangle of graphite composite and exotic metal under the joint stresses of lateral acceleration, horsepower and wind. It stands as one of the greatest achievements of the petroleum age. It required the intellectual might of one of the largest and arguably smartest car companies in the world to birth a car that was not only faster than anything on the road, but easy enough to pilot that anyone could drive it. (”It killed my husband” is not the kind of country-club buzz that sells cars.)
…the Veyron’s stats are legendary: 1,001 horsepower from a mid-mounted, 8.0-liter, 16-cylinder engine that gets air stuffed down its ravenous gullet by four massive turbochargers. All-wheel drive. A seven-speed, dual-clutch transmission that switches gears faster than a state staffer ducking questions about the Appalachian Trail. Depending on how you define “production car,” it is the fastest in the world. In the quickest Lamborghini ever produced, the Murcielago LP640, you can hit 60 mph in 3.2 seconds. In the Grand Sport it takes a hair under 2.5. How does it feel to command that pace? Godlike.
…Bugatti offers seven different seat shapes, to accommodate the seven known varieties of billionaire: lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and pride. Each is based around a carbon-fiber shell and available in whatever animal skin the laws of your kingdom permit.
…Other luxury touches include a stereo, we’re told. The CD player is custom-designed by Burmeister to operate skip-free at 250 miles per hour. We never turned it on. With the carbon fiber and polycarbonate roof removed, you have the only soundtrack you need: the engine’s growl (could be louder) and the roar of the twin air intakes, which suck air like a ??????? two rolls of quarters ?????????? quart of Sterno ??????? Las Vegas.
There’s also a navigation system. It might be the finest example of passive aggression ever assembled; Bugatti’s engineers clearly don’t want you to use it. You can only program the system with a separate, 2005-vintage PDA. If you can stomach the Windows Mobile interface long enough to set your destination, you get to view your route guidance in a tiny screen in the rearview mirror.
…the last king of the gas-guzzlers, forever the greatest. All hail.
Somebody please give me a million or three so that I can afford it. Pretty please?
Sigh.
Al Gore would never forgive me!
[edit]
As (himself newly [but much more modestly] reshod) Dr Paul King pointed out to me…here’s the Video…phew!
